Review

A while back, I wrote that I have ups and downs, and that i only write about the ups. Riding along a dead straight 40 mile road on wednesday the 29th of November (there really were no bends at all), there wasnt a right lot to concentrate on (youve seen 10000 cactus, youve seen them all), and so I thought maybe it was time to write about the bad. And why shouldnt it be? A big part of the reson for me being out here at all is the end of 'Annika and Me'. So here it is, in the middle of this hopefully sometimes entertaining blog.

And then I realised almost straight away that this was the first time id chosen/wished to think about her, and it wasnt because I was feeling sad or bitter or lost. When I was last in Sweden in July, after a horrible afternoon of (looking back - Oscar winning scenes and articulate drama) talking, the only thing I wanted to do (or could think of doing) was to go running, just to try and get rid of some energy. Then i collapsed after a mile inbetween two fields and sobbed and said that i felt like i wanted to die. A deer hopped out infront of me and skipped way, but i dont remember thinking that that meant anything. Now that sounds pretty silly and melodramatic, but the good thing now is that that really does feel silly and melodramatic. Life carried on quickly once id returned home and resigned and bought a plane ticket.

Obviously it still hurts to think of what a nice future we could have had and all the things we said we would do in it, but I think now ive realised or remembered that theres a lot of other futures out there, i just have to step back a few paces and find them. Losing my best friend and going right back to the ´drawing board´ are the hardest things to face. JH

John is unemployed and writes for his own column. He doesnt really have any plans yet, but hopes that 'something will come along soon'. He usually writes just using the keyboard, but this piece was written on paper by torch light in his tent. He is not sure where exactly.

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We´ve left Baja and are now on the mainland Mexico. We had some fun buying tickets for the boat to Mazatalan, and ended up having to sail somewhere else and bus down. Ive got my Yellow Fever vaccine now, after a lot of running around. Ive been into more than 6 hospitals and clinics here in Mazatlan and La Paz, miming motions of injecting something into my arm which just prompted concerned looks and shaking heads. It really feels crippling sometimes not being able to speak spanish.

We´re keen to get into central america, so we´re taking a 16hour bus down to Accupulco, where we´ll spend christmas. Oh, and that Four Tops song, Going Loco down in Accupulco means going crazy.

Theres an overwhelming charm to things here now- the general state of disrepair to everything makes all things more human. Ive seen potholes in the pavements that would go up to my shoulders if i fell in. But its the "we can do it, Si Si!! No Problem!" attitide that really hits. Whatever you need to do. Theres whole families that all pile into the back of an open flatbed truck and whizz all around, cars that look like a speedbump would knock the roof off. I watched two work men hoist up a heavy illumninated billboard up 10 meters with just a single rope tied round the waist of one guy and the other was using a ladder with a load of missing rungs that was just leaning against their van, they were laughing and drinking beers. We needed our bikes onto a bus, but it had no roof rack. He just waved wildly, opened the back door and jammed them all in. No silly rules and regulations to work inside of. A small thing like that would never ever happen in england, and its whats making us all enjoy Mexico so much.

Happy christmas everyone! I miss you all!